Friday, May 11, 2012

Am I a Metro-Sexual Girl?

I was in the midst of a somewhat serious conversation with a very close girlfriend when the topic of my emotional availability (or unavailability as the case may be) came up.  I was trying to explain to her that, while I am a very caring person who appreciates my female friends, I’m just not “that” girl.  You know, the one who remembers every birthday, anniversary, and first shared shoe-gasm.   I'm not going to spend hours reminiscing about the first time we drank wine  long into the night and discussed that touching movie we saw on the Hallmark Channel about the woman whose husband cheated on her right after her dog died and then she had a baby by his brother, but then the brother got some terminal disease so she felt obligated to stay with him even if he was a one-off to get her a love-child but he was gonna die so she was stuck in the relationship… or something.  I don’t watch the Hallmark Channel.  I would rather stick myself in the eyeball with a flaming pitchfork.  I am not that girl.

But I am still a good friend.   I care.   If you don’t think I care you can suck it.

SHE said “Holy hell!  YOU’RE the GUY!”  Really?  I am NOT the guy in this friendship.  I do not scratch my nuggets.  I don’t even have nuggets to scratch.   I don’t burp or do any other bodily functions that most “normal” human type people do.  Don’t be gross.   In fact, I am a very girly girl.  I enjoy wearing make up, getting my nails done, my hair fixed up and dressing nicely.  I like being a princess (or diva, as the case may be).   I really am, in a lot of ways, a girly girl.  So then she looked at me with sudden realization in her eyes:  “You’re a metro-sexual GIRL!!!”   What the…

So, we got a good laugh out of the situation and I was forced to analyze myself.  Am I really the counter-part to the metro-sexual man?  Let’s see:  I am a straight-ish female (hush, this is MY blog) who doesn’t watch Lifetime but enjoys shopping.  I have always been a somewhat of a jock (er, "fitness enthusiast") but I like being coddled sometimes.   I am independent.  I make my own money, I enjoy being surrounded by intelligent, fun people.  I have little tolerance for emotional neediness in others .  My phrase of choice seems to be “Suck it up and deal with it, we all have problems.”  But I don’t mean it in a bad way.  I actually think I am being helpful.   I will hug you while you have a good cry but probably not all night.  I will NOT sit and spoon feed you chocolate and listen to music that reminds you of your ex.   I will give you a punching bag and some gloves and provoke you to beat the hell out of it.  Or tell jokes.  I’m not good with the deep stuff.

I love to shop for shoes and look at pretty boys.  Gay men are my kryptonite.  I love them and they love me.  Every time.  We are made for each other like peanut butter and jelly.   I think it’s because they make such good shoe shopping companions.  And they WILL tell me if my butt looks too big in that outfit.  But in a fabulously bitchy and fun way that no straight man could ever pull off.  But, I digress...

I will unapologetically explore my sexuality, but I probably won’t call you in the morning.  I will cuddle for awhile, but I have things to do.  Lots and lots of things to do.   I don’t know the meaning of the word “relax”.  I love helping others but if other people try to help me it freaks me out.  I am non-committal and frustrating. 

I am definitely not a typical girl.  And I am not sure I am a metro-sexual girl.   Maybe I’m just nuts.   


  1. Wouldn't a metro-sexual female dress kinda butch?

    1. I don't think the Metro-Sexual female is considered so based on her appearance (unlike the metro-sexual man). We are more three dimensional and, as women, we are judged based on how we behave. So, this came up because I dress like a girl but "act like a man". It's kind of reverse metro-sexuality. Or something. :) Thanks for reading.

  2. Well, I think what you are saying my dear... is that you are not the stereotypical "girly Girl". I read that and thought, OMG, she is describing me!! Then I realized, wait, she is describing most strong women I know.

    I think us "Metro-Sexual" women are naturally drawn to each other.

    Can I change the tire on my car? Well, yes I can. Do I, Oh hell no, i let my husband handle that job. But it doesn't mean that if I was alone I couldnt handle the task.

    Can I support myself, OH HELL YA!! (I think you know that better than most). Does that mean I dont want a man who can and does earn enough to "keep me"?

    I, like you, dont want to be taken care of, we are perfectly capable of that ourselves (in most every way). But we also appreciate having a "Man's Man" to go along with our "Girly Girl" side. I think they call that "compatibility"

    God ive missed your writing! Welcome back!!!

    Love ya!

    Karen "Pinky"

    1. Pink! I've missed you. :)

      Yes you got it on the nose.

      I think the best example of a true Metro-Sexual woman can be seen in the character of Samantha Jones in "Sex in the City". She is affluent, confident, unashamed to be sexual, and doesn't need (or in her case even want) a relationship with a man. She tends to be seen as somewhat "cold" by the other women in the series, but she tells it like she sees it. If I were going to pick one person who I see as the quintessential Metro-Sexual female, it would be her.

      I am not sure I fit that mold entirely, but I do identify with her in alot of ways.


  3. All I can say.....You go girl!!!!! You are a very strong independent, intelligent, and sexy woman, be who you are and be proud of it!!!!!!


  4. This was very interesting and super funny, but makes me wonder what I am. The world may never know...

    1. Just be yourself and anyone who doesn't like it can let the door hit 'em on the way out. :)

      Thanks for reading.

  5. HEY I burp and proud of it thank you very much.....LOL